Flying High in the Friend Zone

I went to England this summer, and in London we saw something of great interest to me. It's an area of Hyde Park called Speaker's Corner. For the last few centuries, anyone who had something to say has been welcomed to Speaker's Corner where they were allowed to say anything--whatever it is that they want to say. There was only one rule: you have to be six inches above British soil to speak. Most people, therefore, were forced to bring something to stand upon--usually a soapbox. Permit me to continue in the tradtion in my own Speaker's Corner, here on my soapbox.

I have a problem with these friends of mine. The problem is that they're girls. Well, that's not the only problem. The other part of it is that I'm a guy. That's a big part of it.

I tend to be a really emotive, albeit unemotional individual. As it has been observed about me, I tend to make friends with fairly unemotional girls, as well. Among the leading problems with this situation is the following--I often grow to like these girls. So many of my friendships are, in this way, castrated by the fact that my heart is easily drawn to any girl that I trust. But these girl's hearts hardly ever go out to anyone.

Put your Kleenex away. This is not a sob story, but an observation I have made about the fairer sex that seems to be fairly standard. I grant to you up front that my objectivity in the matter could easily be brought into question. However, a subjective opinion is not necessarily a wrong opinion.

So, they say relationships are supposed to be based on trust, right? It's to be the "foundation" of the relationship. I have no quarrel with that statement. On the contrary, my quarrel is with the people who say that but take no time to consider what that means. Because they haven't considered it ahead of time, when they are confronted with said situation they often contradict themselves by their own actions.

If a relationship is supposed to be founded upon trust, doesn't that mean that you should look to the guys or girls you trust naturally when you begin to look for that special someone? I know that means thinking about your friends in ways that may not make you feel comfortable right away: that's completely natural. It is important to remember that we often make some of our poorest decisions based on initial feelings, though. Ask most anyone who's ever spent time in prison.

My plea is just this: don't discount your friends from the search for that special someone. There's a good chance that, in doing so, you're cutting yourself off from your best options. You all deserve your best options.

Utzy

PS - I mean no specific harm to anyone in the contents of this letter. If I've effectively cauterized my relationships with anyone by writing this, then I apologize. I just think it's important that friends can share feelings amongst friends. I love you all dearly.