A Hole

There's not much to be said about nothing, except that it consumes you with the stealth of the morning's dew. Within and without are devoured as the emptiness tears a pool in your lungs so deep that all good humor is submerged in its oppresive equillibrium. To be numb to pain is to be numb to pleasure, and for what it's worth neither is acceptable. Is it hatred or jealousy that fuel my fuming? Is it lust or lonliness that isolates me in this crucible of futile thoughts? Am I really nothing without someone, or do I just think that because that's what my emotions cry out to me?

I plead with the Creator for some reprieve from this hollow nagging, and He does provide a type of balm. But none so powerful as the solution divined from the beginning of the human race. This hole--this empty potential that is left where a best friend is meant to reside--lies scarred by the inconsistent nature of the single life. A wound uncovered lies open to more pain, but covered bears possibility for healing. I pray the Lord send me my healing balm on a daily basis, as faithfully He has. But I pray also that the final answer come swiftly, and with all the grace of heaven's angels. For there is no thing to be bourne but the pain of lonliness when it falls upon the hearts of its pray.

Good cheer finds its place in my heart as I push ahead. I continue to learn about myself on a daily basis, and am becoming more and more of an individual as time progresses. I seek an understanding that I cannot fathom. I seek an emotion I cannot feel. I seek an end I cannot myself attain. In all my seeking, the only thing of value that I've found is the only thing worth finding in the first place. Hell may not be my destination, but whereas mortal lonliness is a type of hell, I bear the most empassioned sympathies for those whose ultimate destination it is. Whether my lot be lonliness or otherwise, it will be everything within me that seeks to make a message of help for those who would otherwise not know his love and grace.